Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Caffeinate The Children!

In case those schoolyard kids weren't jumpy enough. Starbucks has apparently decided to start paying attention to them too.

I like my kids extra hyper

When I was in grade school, the only thing I was going to see in the morning was a fresh glass of pulp free OJ, and then perhaps a frosty glass of milk in the evening. Just think of all that I missed out on then. Cheated of the joys of getting an iced coffee on my way to school. I could have started enjoying that thrill of when the ice goes just too much over the top that they need to use the fancy dome tops with extra space (or as I like to call it "living above the rim."). It's probably for the best. I mean consider the alternatives. If we keep children away from the coffee like alcohol, then a whole underground culture begins. You'd start having all the so called, "bad seeds," gather under the stair cases and sneak sips of a passion lemonade iced tea with 7 pumps of classic sugar sweetening, while they mock the nerds in the science labs that are savoring every sweet sip of venti chai latte with extra whip and a dash of cinnamon. The madness must be stopped before it begins. If I don't see every other kid this fall at the schoolyard replacing their traditional afternoon snacks with iced lemon loaf, then i think it may be too late to stop the downfall of society.

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