This just in. Scientists are slowly discovering a way to remove everything fun that they possibly can in society. Here are some prime examples.
TV ruins children
Tasty popcorn butter causes cancer
I'm not sure what the fascination is for scientists to slowly discover that everything we love is bad for us. Gone are the good old days when I could just kick back with some artificial, buttery goodness and watch 6 hours of TV until my brain was too fried to concentrate on anything. Whatever happened to scientists discussing how to cure the ills of the world, instead of taking apart my childhood brick by brick. Next thing you know, pop rocks and soda will be proven to kill people as well. I remember the sheer joy that I felt for surviving that brief encounter. Was I playing with fire? Yes. Could I feel the danger? Yes. Did I like it? Damn right. What about all the kids who swallowed Optimus Prime's laser gun? I wonder if there's long term effects for that as well. Maybe ignorance is bliss, and we should devote more of our scientific studies to making the world in 2015 be like the future portrayed in Back to the Future 2. I can just dream about flying to work on my hover board and not be too scared to slather on extra fake butter next time I sit down for 8 consecutive hours of television. These guys are on the right track:
I want Spider-Man's powers
CM
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