All the College Kids are Doing It

Who hasn't spent a night drunk, tired and naked with their ex because of a rousing game of strip yahtzee? Yeah, that's right. Strip Yahtzee. It's sweeping the nation. Don't be the last to join in!

I didn't mean to cheat on my boyfriend. I swear, I rolled 3 6's, so I had no choice!

Snakes on the Plains

Just when you thought it was safe to flush that pet snake down the toilet and tell your kid that it moved to a snake farm in Connecticut, the newest US Geological Survey has issued a warning that giant alien snakes may secure a foothold in North America. Yes, those are the exact words used by the US Geological Survey. "Giant, Alien Snakes." Apparently, the invasion will begin in the climate in Florida. Perfect plan for the snake attack. Pick off our older citizens who are weaker. With any luck, the elderly will rally like Hume Cronyn and Jessica Tandy did against those bullies in the 1987 classic, "Batteries Not Included." Be warned, America. The geologists have spoken!

Hey, who put this 20 foot python in my backyard?

Keep Your Tigers at Arm's Length

A man in Calgary was injured this week when he stuck his arm into a tiger pen. The real question is how this situation developed. Here's a hint, perhaps when the man stuck his arm into the range of a hungry tiger.

I thought maybe he would just shake my hand?

My Fish Could Kick Your Fish's Ass

For everyone who thinks that their fish are really boring, they need this fish training program. After the intensive training, your fish will kick goals like Pele or dunk like Jordan. Personally, I think this would just be a self esteem killer, when someone sees that their fish are in better shape than they are.

Elmo Goes Rogue

Ever get tired of being nice all the time? Elmo certainly does. He's finally snapped. In Times Square the other day, Rob Me Blind Elmo made his first appearance to the world.

Elmo says give me your money and no one will get hurt!

Never Too Early for Breast Feeding

File this one under W-T-F.

I just want my daughter to have the experience in feeding a baby many years before she even has sex.

Yes, that is what every young girl is thinking. puppies are cute. Glitter is Sparkly. Boys have cooties, and oh yeah, I wonder what it's like to breast feed a baby.

The Day the Ants Took Over

It's finally happened. Be afraid, be very afraid. Ants have been subtly attempting to take over the world for years now, and we've played right into their hands. The Argentine Ant has now spread all over the US, Europe and Japan. Since these ants are all brethren, they refuse to fight one another. They're organized and ready to take to our fair lands, one picnic at a time! Pretty soon, we'll all have to mobilize our greatest defenses with exterminator bodyguards like John Goodman from Arachnophobia. It's the beginning of the end. The beginning of the end!

Hey there little ant. Who are your friends?

Even Monkeys Need Romance

Evidently, the key to a chimp's pants is through her stomach.  They really are just like us.

Is that a high society deer or some type of cheap rodent meat?

Nothing Like a Little Phone Sex for Breakfast

What goes best with cheerios in the morning?  Milk, a glass of juice, maybe some fruit and a phone with a sexy, breathy voice on the other end.  A cereal company in Oregon mistakenly put a phone sex line number on their boxes, instead of the regular cereal hotline.  This brings me to two thoughts:  First, I clearly am eating the wrong cereal every day; Second, how many people actually call cereal hot lines?  What kind of cereal emergencies are that pressing?  These flakes are not frosted enough!  We're going to need some frosting at my house. Stat!

How much do you like our cereal?  Give us a call.  You know you want to.

Video Monkey: Celebrity Babies - Monkey Edition

There's something about this video that amuses me.  Is it the odd disney cartoon like soundtrack?  Is it the fact that the monkey is apparently harrassed by more paparazzi than Britney Spears?  Seriously.  Why are they all coming after that baby?  You'd think he was just adopted into the Brangelina family.  Leave the little leaf monkey alone!

Most Ungrateful Son in Law

In a scene that sounds much more like an encounter between Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner, a Bosnian man recently was imprisoned for trying to kill his mother in law.....with an anti tank missile.  She was fine afterwards, so he tried again later......with a machine gun.  WTF is going on in this crazy dude's mind?  Also, why does he seem to have access to weapons like he's playing a video game?  The real kicker is that the mother in law of steel survived both attacks, with barely a scratch on her.

Just stand still!  There's plenty more cartoon weapons where that one came from!

Resourceful Drunk

This drunk ohio guy is way more resourceful than most drunks.  He built his own bar stool transportation to get too and from the bar.  I wonder if he just parked his vehicle at the bar, when he'd go drinking.  Is it still drunk driving, if you technically never leave your stool?  My favorite was his plea of not guilty, despite the fact that his response to police over how much he drank was, "a lot."

Well, it sure beats drunk segway driving

I Knew All That Duck Hunt Was Good For Something...

Looks like Scientists have finally confirmed what I would often tell my mom when I was 7.  Video games are good for you.  Not just any video games, the shoot 'em up violent action games.  So, next time you decide to pick up a book, think twice.  What does that do for your hand eye coordination and fine contrast differences perception?  That's right...nothing.  Put down that book, and pick up a video game controller instead.  Suck it, reading!

Killing zombies on playstation is just as good as going to the gym  

Sham Pow

Before I used to think of Vince, the sleazy guy from the Sham Wow and Slap Chop ads, as just that weird infomercial dude that wears a pointless microphone headset and looks like Moe from the Simpsons,  but now, he is so so so much more.  He's become Vince, the sleazy guy who likes to beat up prostitutes.  A real step up.  Stay classy, Vince.

I swear she bit me first!

Supernatural High School Problems

Here I thought things were bad when I was in high school, but at a school in Boston, they have to deal with more than just your average bully.  It's not lunch money those bad ass kids are looking for, it's blood.  The school administrator claims there's no truth to the claim that vampires are terrorizing the local kids, but the truth is out there.  In other news, the Easter Bunny has become the star of the soccer team, and Santa Claus brought in the most delicious cupcakes for homeroom.

Give me some blood, or I'll throw you in a locker

Recession: Bad for Big Business, Good For Strippers

A strip club in Rhode Island is hosting a job fair this weekend.  Despite the horrible unemployment in Rhode Island right now, the strip clubs are apparently thriving more than ever.  It gives credence to the theory that when you fall on hard times, there's nothing better than a stripper falling into your lap.

A good place to spend your unemployement

The Subway Gloves

Ever notice that the people at subway never change the plastic gloves between sandwiches?  Doesn't that sort of erase the sanitary nature of the whole thing?  Not just that, but I then saw the guy change the radio station and open and close the front door in the same gloves.  It's like if a surgeon operated on someone before you without changing it around.  You might end up with part of someone else's intestine in you instead of just a stray sweet pepper that you didn't ask for on a meatball sub.  Someone should investigate this...

Sexiest Cartoons

In honor of the return of that sexy Cadbury Bunny, a poll was taken for the sexiest cartoon characters ever created.  The winner?  Jessica Rabbit.  The loser?  Anyone who admitted that they find cartoon characters sexy.

Ooooooo Ahhhhhh...Cartoons!

The Colonel's Real Secret Recipe

Ever been dying to know what's the secret ingredients that go into KFC's chicken?  Even the employees don't know.  It's so deadly secret, that no one questioned a caller to a NH location, who claimed to be from corporate, when he told them they'd all been exposed to something potentially deadly.  

The KFC secret is out, and it's deadly!

After pulling the fire suppression system, they stripped down and were told to get outside and pee on each other.  Yes, no one questioned this until police arrived to find them.  I think the minute, I'm told to strip down and be submitted to my coworker's golden shower in the back alley behind a KFC, I'm going to call someone to double check that the order is crystal clear.

Thirst Quenching Urine

File this away under "WTF."  Have you ever had that thirst that you felt wouldn't go away without a cool glass of Cow pee.  

Better double check that it's actually Mountain Dew that you're drinking  

Worst One Night Stand Ever

I think this story really speaks for itself.  Think twice before you mix booze, valium and a game of last man standing to pick up a girl late night at a bar.

At least, I remember her name now....

Shouldn't Nerds Be Smarter?

The winners of the week's thinking outside the box award definitely goes to these guys .  Instead of being bogged down with generic weapons like guns, they went all out and used replicas of traditional Klingon battle swords to rob two 7-11 stores.  

You earthlings better hand over everything in the register or the slurpee machine gets it!

If only Captain Kirk hadn't given up alien fighting to sell cheap hotel and airfare.

Across the USA in 13 days!

The cross country journey begins! The bags are packed, and ready to hit the open road Sunday morning. The trip will begin with a train ride tonight from new York to Philly. From there, I meet up with a friend and it's straight on to Texas by car. Then, I switch travel companions and continue on to the west. How many states? How many cities between now and the return home? Stay tuned.