Supernatural High School Problems

Here I thought things were bad when I was in high school, but at a school in Boston, they have to deal with more than just your average bully.  It's not lunch money those bad ass kids are looking for, it's blood.  The school administrator claims there's no truth to the claim that vampires are terrorizing the local kids, but the truth is out there.  In other news, the Easter Bunny has become the star of the soccer team, and Santa Claus brought in the most delicious cupcakes for homeroom.

Give me some blood, or I'll throw you in a locker

High School Says No Hugging Before Marriage

Sometimes protecting the innocent youth of our country goes a bit too far.

Don't you dare hold that kid's hand!

This school in Keller, Texas has decided to ban all touching what so ever. When I say touching, I don't only mean the kind of touching that will lead to teachers doing some time in jail and being a fun story for people to watch on the news. When it comes to contact with another kid, nothing goes. No hugging, no hand holding, no PDA. That'll teach those kids some good moral fiber. Take more away from them. Sure, no one will want to rebel and increase their levels of touching tenfold. I'm sure taking away the opportunity to even hold someone's hand will stop any teenager from even thinking about sex. That's exactly how the mind works. What's the principle's reasoning behind the decision?

"I think it's kind of like if you let the camel put his head in the tent, next thing you know, the camel's going to be inside the tent."

Oh, now I get it. That clears everything up and really puts some much needed credibility behind the logic. The camel in the tent? Now, I may be from the northeast, but are camels even native to texas? I don't know, but that may be my new favorite analogy for sexual innuendo. What hope does society have if we can't get those kids today to keep their camels out of girls' tents?

After School "Special"

It's not everyday that you come across a pimp who is thinking. He was wondering a good way to make extra money on the side. Hmm, what's a good way to pull off extra money on the side. Oh, I know, lower your rates and target high school kids.

You don't learn these lessons in geometry class

What looked like an innocent ping pong place was actually a high school targeting brothel. A regular ping pong establishment? This seems like a stretch already to me. I live in new york, and I've never been invited to a ping pong establishment. Fact #2. Was no one suspicious from the get go about a place named, "Robo-Pong Training Center." What? It sounds like it's an old nintendo game from 1989. I mean, it's less obvious than, "Ping Pong Pleasure Palace," but it might as well be. How many parents were not at all suspicious of their children saying they were going to be home a little late, cause they'll be training their mad pong skills at the Robo-Pong Training Center. Also, I don't care how low the rates were. Where do these kids get the money? I was having trouble buying myself a twix bar after work let alone paying someone to show me how to work the ping pong paddle. How low was the pricing? Here's a good quote from the police officer:

"It was obvious that they were targeting young students, because the prices were so low," said one disgusted police official, adding, "Most brothels charge at least $100."

Disgusted police officer, eh? I don't know, he seems to know the going rate for a regular brothel. Suspicious....