Monkey Jail Break!

This story is to anyone who thinks the zoo is inhumane.  A group of monkeys with adventure on their minds decided to take matters into their own hands.

One more mile to freedom!

All 19 of the monkeys in a new habitat at a Florida zoo managed to hop off the island and swim to safety.  Not only did they pull off the death defying swim, but apparently, they're not supposed to be able to do that.  Don't panic, according to the officials, these monkeys are not a danger to people.  Hear that?  NOT a danger.  Of course, they're not supposed to be able to swim out of their island habitat either, pal.  What's next?  Citizens held up at gunpoint by a monkey mugger?  Frankly, even as a fervent defender of our monkey brethren, I'd be a bit concerned by these freak, evolving monkeys before they swim to the next location and terrorize the eastern seaboard like a mob of pirates!

Fish In Space!

Ever wonder what a good, inexpensive way to study motion sickness would be?  I can tell you what wouldn't be.:

Swimming with the stars

Some researchers were looking to study the effects of motion sickness on the body using fish in space.  Yes, fish in space.  They shot 72 fish into space in a tiny rocket with a tiny aquarium inside of it.  Apparently, fish swim in circles when they have motion sickness, so they want to see if there's a pattern to why some people get motion sickness and some don't.  Wait a minute.  Fish swim in circles when they have motion sickness?  Why don't they just stop moving?  Wouldn't that be an easier way to get over motion sickness?  

"Oh man, I feel so dizzy sick.  You guys go ahead, I'm going to swim this off.  Oh yeah, perfect circles, that's the spot.  There we go."

Luckily, the fish all returned safely to planet earth.  When asked to comment on the adventure, one of the fish replied by just swimming in circles and ignoring the interviewer.  That ungrateful little monster.