Snakes on the Plains

Just when you thought it was safe to flush that pet snake down the toilet and tell your kid that it moved to a snake farm in Connecticut, the newest US Geological Survey has issued a warning that giant alien snakes may secure a foothold in North America. Yes, those are the exact words used by the US Geological Survey. "Giant, Alien Snakes." Apparently, the invasion will begin in the climate in Florida. Perfect plan for the snake attack. Pick off our older citizens who are weaker. With any luck, the elderly will rally like Hume Cronyn and Jessica Tandy did against those bullies in the 1987 classic, "Batteries Not Included." Be warned, America. The geologists have spoken!

Hey, who put this 20 foot python in my backyard?

Keep Your Tigers at Arm's Length

A man in Calgary was injured this week when he stuck his arm into a tiger pen. The real question is how this situation developed. Here's a hint, perhaps when the man stuck his arm into the range of a hungry tiger.

I thought maybe he would just shake my hand?

My Fish Could Kick Your Fish's Ass

For everyone who thinks that their fish are really boring, they need this fish training program. After the intensive training, your fish will kick goals like Pele or dunk like Jordan. Personally, I think this would just be a self esteem killer, when someone sees that their fish are in better shape than they are.