A NC man won the blue ribbon at the state fair for making his own coffin. He's also writing his own eulogy and had arranged for his pallbearers already. In addition, he's insuring that his loved ones will be so bored of his funeral by the time it happens, that they'll fast forward through it like DVR on a commercial break.
Waaaay too much free time on his hands in life.
Showing posts with label dead. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dead. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Remember Kids, Playing Dead Protects You From Bears, Not Police
As he'd forgotten the age old rule about when to play dead, this burglar in Spain was caught by police playing dead in a funeral parlor.
Hmmm...look at those bodies. One of these things is not like the other.
How was he busted by the police? They noticed 2 things about him. One was that he was dressed in dirty clothes, and the other was that he was BREATHING! Yup, even this pinnacle of crime excellence couldn't remember to hold his breath when hiding on display. I guess it could have been worse. He could have been mistaken for a body returning to life and attacked like the man last year who dressed like a zombie for Halloween. Another good question was why he was robbing that place to begin with. That's like a page from an idiot's guide to grave robbing. The funeral home isn't full of valuables. Better luck next time!
Hmmm...look at those bodies. One of these things is not like the other.
How was he busted by the police? They noticed 2 things about him. One was that he was dressed in dirty clothes, and the other was that he was BREATHING! Yup, even this pinnacle of crime excellence couldn't remember to hold his breath when hiding on display. I guess it could have been worse. He could have been mistaken for a body returning to life and attacked like the man last year who dressed like a zombie for Halloween. Another good question was why he was robbing that place to begin with. That's like a page from an idiot's guide to grave robbing. The funeral home isn't full of valuables. Better luck next time!
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Deadly Rich
Creativity at its best for these two guys. In what could only have happened in a deleted scene from Weekend at Bernie's, two men attempted to cash a dead guy's social security check. Oh, it wasn't one of them in disguise or carrying fake IDs, they literally wheeled the dead man to the check cashing place and gave it a try.
He really wants this check cashed. What? No, he's just really tired and sleepy, but he really wants us to cash his check.
What do you do when your friend passes away in the apartment that you two live in? Grieve? Call for medical attention. No, that'd be too easy, there's still money that could be made from it. It's amazing how low people will stoop for a check for $350 split two ways. The most moronic part was that after wheeling him down "flopping in a chair," they left him in the street, while they went inside! How'd the police find them? Could have been top notch police work or it could have been the mob of people who formed around the random dead guy in an office chair sitting on the sidewalk of New York City. When the clerk didn't believe them, they were about to bring him inside to help with the scheme. If I were the police, I'd almost have let it go on two more minutes, just to see how they pulled it off. Was someone going to hold him up as if he was a giant puppet? Well played, gentlemen. Nothing says classy like taking advantage of a dead, old guy's body for financial gain.
He really wants this check cashed. What? No, he's just really tired and sleepy, but he really wants us to cash his check.
What do you do when your friend passes away in the apartment that you two live in? Grieve? Call for medical attention. No, that'd be too easy, there's still money that could be made from it. It's amazing how low people will stoop for a check for $350 split two ways. The most moronic part was that after wheeling him down "flopping in a chair," they left him in the street, while they went inside! How'd the police find them? Could have been top notch police work or it could have been the mob of people who formed around the random dead guy in an office chair sitting on the sidewalk of New York City. When the clerk didn't believe them, they were about to bring him inside to help with the scheme. If I were the police, I'd almost have let it go on two more minutes, just to see how they pulled it off. Was someone going to hold him up as if he was a giant puppet? Well played, gentlemen. Nothing says classy like taking advantage of a dead, old guy's body for financial gain.
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