Healthiest Snack Ever

Looking for something healthy that won't rot your teeth at all? This isn't it:

Dentist's Worst Nightmare

Imagine how many days it would take to gnaw through that bad boy. This gummy bear weighs 5lbs and is over 12,000 calories. Most frightening of all is that it has a shelf life of a year. I make it a rule to not eat any giant gelatinous food that's covered in dust, but still just as good to eat as the day you brought it home!

Remember Kids, Playing Dead Protects You From Bears, Not Police

As he'd forgotten the age old rule about when to play dead, this burglar in Spain was caught by police playing dead in a funeral parlor.

Hmmm...look at those bodies. One of these things is not like the other.

How was he busted by the police? They noticed 2 things about him. One was that he was dressed in dirty clothes, and the other was that he was BREATHING! Yup, even this pinnacle of crime excellence couldn't remember to hold his breath when hiding on display. I guess it could have been worse. He could have been mistaken for a body returning to life and attacked like the man last year who dressed like a zombie for Halloween. Another good question was why he was robbing that place to begin with. That's like a page from an idiot's guide to grave robbing. The funeral home isn't full of valuables. Better luck next time!