Flaming Feces of Fury

This is definitely a whole new level of global warming fears that I never imagined. It's not just the excessive heat that might kill us, but also the methane gases released from frozen extinct animal crap.

Those crazy mammoths forgot to flush again

Who would have thought that millions of years later we'd have to worry about the long term effects of prehistoric poop? Here I thought the only dangers that I might encounter would be what I went through on Saturday night. A crazy, homeless man ran at me, on the streets of New York, with a bag of fire like an angry villager trying to chase the frankenstein monster out of a castle. I evaded the plastic shopping bag's flaming pile of potential burning disaster, but was left curious. Why was this man carrying a bag of fire? Where was he going? Was it really one of those burning bags of crap like an old halloween prank? I bet he knew something that we didn't know. When the cities begin to fall in the wake of the newly released deadly gases, that one crazy man with his burning bag will still be there laughing maniacally and swinging that fire at whoever gets in his way.