Obvious Monkey: Scientists Prove Liquid Courage Exists

File under the science experiment that really didn't need to be funded.

Shocker! Alcohol can make you do things you wouldn't normally do!

Wait, so when you're drunk, you're liable to get more aggressive and/or do more stupid things that you wouldn't have the courage to do sober. What an entirely new revelation that we never would have come across without science!

Elephants Are Just Big Sissies

Pretty soon no one will be scared of an incoming elephant stampede. Gone will be the days where you were scared to stroll around the street, lest you become the victim of the deafening sound of an elephant as it tramples over your car. It turns after all, that elephants are just as wimpy as we are.

Don't sting me! Please! Ow! Not on the trunk!

Elephants are scared of bees. When I was a kid, I stepped on a bees' nest once that had fallen from a tree. Somewhere between the running in terror, screaming in pain, and wondering if I would suffer the same fate as Macaulay Culkin in, "My Girl," a bee fear was born. However, I was also a much shorter, skinny, young child. Apparently, young me was braver than an elephant. Elephants may be scared off just by the buzzing sounds, and yet I stepped headlong into that nest (by accident, yes), and those warning buzzes didn't frighten me. Bring it on Grown Up Dumbos. I'm not afraid of you! What's that? Buzzzzzz. Yeah, you want more of that? Buzzzzz