Video Monkey: Get Us Out of This Computer!

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Monkey Jail Break!

This story is to anyone who thinks the zoo is inhumane.  A group of monkeys with adventure on their minds decided to take matters into their own hands.

One more mile to freedom!

All 19 of the monkeys in a new habitat at a Florida zoo managed to hop off the island and swim to safety.  Not only did they pull off the death defying swim, but apparently, they're not supposed to be able to do that.  Don't panic, according to the officials, these monkeys are not a danger to people.  Hear that?  NOT a danger.  Of course, they're not supposed to be able to swim out of their island habitat either, pal.  What's next?  Citizens held up at gunpoint by a monkey mugger?  Frankly, even as a fervent defender of our monkey brethren, I'd be a bit concerned by these freak, evolving monkeys before they swim to the next location and terrorize the eastern seaboard like a mob of pirates!

More Fun Than a Barrel of 100 Monkeys

Well, this is it. The 100th post of Comic Monkey. I thought it best to post a heartwarming story about love and affection in the land of what else...monkeys.

No matter where you go, I will find you!

2 monkeys on the run. On the run to find each other. It's a monkey love so strong, that we dare not speak its name. One, Bruno, the male orangutan in a Los Angeles zoo, punched through his mesh trappings and escaped. Bruno could not be deterred on his quest to reunite with, Luna Bella, the female orangutan that escaped at about the same time from a zoo in Tampa. Unfortunately, before a cross country trip across the country to find his young lover, Bruno was caught up in a different holding area at the zoo and recovered. This left all of the work in Bella's court. How would her quest work out in the end? Bella found herself faced with the ultimate choice. Running towards a monkey rendez vous, or the apples, carrots and ice cream being offered by the trainers. In the end, the food won, and she returned to her pen without trouble. Incidently, this worked out pretty well for Bruno, because he's 29 and she's only 10, so he was going to be looking at getting handed a hard 10 to 20 years of monkey justice if he'd found her.

Beware of Snake!

I don't even have to make up my own sentence to describe this link.  The actual headline does it enough justice:

Snake Eats Family Dog as Kids Watch

What the hell?  That story couldn't be worse unless the snake ate the kids afterwards.  The best part is the way the zookeeper decides to rub it in even more.  First he tells them that they can't remove the still being digested dog, because it could cause harm to the snake, and everyone knows that you don't do anything to that might hurt the poor snake who slithered into someone's house and inhaled the dog.  Then, he goes on to say, in a way that i read as smarmy, how they really should have just called him the other day when they saw the snake.  Although, I will say...who knew snakes measured themselves and stalked prey for days before eating.  I certainly didn't.  If I ever see a person sized snake (such as the one stalking J Lo and Eric Stoltz in Anaconda), riding on the subway next to me for a couple days, you can be damn sure that I'll call some zookeeper/superhero right away!