Most Ungrateful Son in Law

In a scene that sounds much more like an encounter between Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner, a Bosnian man recently was imprisoned for trying to kill his mother in law.....with an anti tank missile.  She was fine afterwards, so he tried again later......with a machine gun.  WTF is going on in this crazy dude's mind?  Also, why does he seem to have access to weapons like he's playing a video game?  The real kicker is that the mother in law of steel survived both attacks, with barely a scratch on her.

Just stand still!  There's plenty more cartoon weapons where that one came from!

Resourceful Drunk

This drunk ohio guy is way more resourceful than most drunks.  He built his own bar stool transportation to get too and from the bar.  I wonder if he just parked his vehicle at the bar, when he'd go drinking.  Is it still drunk driving, if you technically never leave your stool?  My favorite was his plea of not guilty, despite the fact that his response to police over how much he drank was, "a lot."

Well, it sure beats drunk segway driving

I Knew All That Duck Hunt Was Good For Something...

Looks like Scientists have finally confirmed what I would often tell my mom when I was 7.  Video games are good for you.  Not just any video games, the shoot 'em up violent action games.  So, next time you decide to pick up a book, think twice.  What does that do for your hand eye coordination and fine contrast differences perception?  That's right...nothing.  Put down that book, and pick up a video game controller instead.  Suck it, reading!

Killing zombies on playstation is just as good as going to the gym  

Sham Pow

Before I used to think of Vince, the sleazy guy from the Sham Wow and Slap Chop ads, as just that weird infomercial dude that wears a pointless microphone headset and looks like Moe from the Simpsons,  but now, he is so so so much more.  He's become Vince, the sleazy guy who likes to beat up prostitutes.  A real step up.  Stay classy, Vince.

I swear she bit me first!

Supernatural High School Problems

Here I thought things were bad when I was in high school, but at a school in Boston, they have to deal with more than just your average bully.  It's not lunch money those bad ass kids are looking for, it's blood.  The school administrator claims there's no truth to the claim that vampires are terrorizing the local kids, but the truth is out there.  In other news, the Easter Bunny has become the star of the soccer team, and Santa Claus brought in the most delicious cupcakes for homeroom.

Give me some blood, or I'll throw you in a locker

Recession: Bad for Big Business, Good For Strippers

A strip club in Rhode Island is hosting a job fair this weekend.  Despite the horrible unemployment in Rhode Island right now, the strip clubs are apparently thriving more than ever.  It gives credence to the theory that when you fall on hard times, there's nothing better than a stripper falling into your lap.

A good place to spend your unemployement

The Subway Gloves

Ever notice that the people at subway never change the plastic gloves between sandwiches?  Doesn't that sort of erase the sanitary nature of the whole thing?  Not just that, but I then saw the guy change the radio station and open and close the front door in the same gloves.  It's like if a surgeon operated on someone before you without changing it around.  You might end up with part of someone else's intestine in you instead of just a stray sweet pepper that you didn't ask for on a meatball sub.  Someone should investigate this...

Sexiest Cartoons

In honor of the return of that sexy Cadbury Bunny, a poll was taken for the sexiest cartoon characters ever created.  The winner?  Jessica Rabbit.  The loser?  Anyone who admitted that they find cartoon characters sexy.

Ooooooo Ahhhhhh...Cartoons!

The Colonel's Real Secret Recipe

Ever been dying to know what's the secret ingredients that go into KFC's chicken?  Even the employees don't know.  It's so deadly secret, that no one questioned a caller to a NH location, who claimed to be from corporate, when he told them they'd all been exposed to something potentially deadly.  

The KFC secret is out, and it's deadly!

After pulling the fire suppression system, they stripped down and were told to get outside and pee on each other.  Yes, no one questioned this until police arrived to find them.  I think the minute, I'm told to strip down and be submitted to my coworker's golden shower in the back alley behind a KFC, I'm going to call someone to double check that the order is crystal clear.

Thirst Quenching Urine

File this away under "WTF."  Have you ever had that thirst that you felt wouldn't go away without a cool glass of Cow pee.  

Better double check that it's actually Mountain Dew that you're drinking  

Worst One Night Stand Ever

I think this story really speaks for itself.  Think twice before you mix booze, valium and a game of last man standing to pick up a girl late night at a bar.

At least, I remember her name now....

Shouldn't Nerds Be Smarter?

The winners of the week's thinking outside the box award definitely goes to these guys .  Instead of being bogged down with generic weapons like guns, they went all out and used replicas of traditional Klingon battle swords to rob two 7-11 stores.  

You earthlings better hand over everything in the register or the slurpee machine gets it!

If only Captain Kirk hadn't given up alien fighting to sell cheap hotel and airfare.

Across the USA in 13 days!

The cross country journey begins! The bags are packed, and ready to hit the open road Sunday morning. The trip will begin with a train ride tonight from new York to Philly. From there, I meet up with a friend and it's straight on to Texas by car. Then, I switch travel companions and continue on to the west. How many states? How many cities between now and the return home? Stay tuned.

Cheating with a Computer is Still Cheating

A woman is divorcing her husband, cause she uncovered him having multiple affairs in the online community, Second Life. Apparently, there can also be sins of the virtualized flesh. The best part is when she hired a virtual detective to scope out the situation and see what was going on. In the end, he said he loved his new online girlfriend more than his wife, and she left him. Begs the question. What is this Second Life thing? Why does it actually have prostitutes your character can hire? What is wrong with people? How sketchy is this dude? All quandaries that I will one day seek to answer.

It's a good thing these are only virtual women!

Palin: Ultimate Fighting Champion

The Total Nonstop Action Wrestling league has offered former VP nominee, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin $50,000 to join their "beautiful people" collection of wrestlers. They advertise it as another way for her to break into a male dominated field. I feel like the only thing that'll get broken into is some other woman's face.

The best consolation prize to losing an election

Worst Lawsuit Ever

The mayor of the city of Batman, Turkey is suing WB and Chris Nolan, the people behind the Dark Knight movie for money. Why? Because the movie is leading to:


"a number of unsolved murders and a high female suicide rate on the psychological impact that the film's success has had on the city's inhabitants."

Makes sense that after 70 years of comics, tv and movies, they finally figured out that a movie without even the word, "batman" in the title is ruining their city, after becoming the second biggest movie of all time. I can relate. Every time. "Escape From New York" comes on tv, I usually double over in a rage seizure.

Holy Greedy Lawsuits, Batman!

Literally couldn't live without him

A San Francisco woman was killed by her husband, during his funeral. What? You say? While driving his coffin, it flew forward in the hearse cause of traffic and hit her. She died on the spot. Divine intervention to keep two lifelong loves from being separate for long? Reaching from beyond the grave to try and give her one more hug? Really crappy luck? You decide.

Buy one funeral, get one free.

I swear, Officer...I wasn't at that strip club

A man in Alaska "accidentally" stole someone else's car from a strip club parking lot. Presumably, he was trying to make a quick getaway when his wife found out where he was. Not only was his "got in the wrong car" story fishy, his name was Charles Schultz. The creator of Charlie Brown? Booked for grand theft auto, what would Linus say?

Wait, this isn't my car? I didn't realize it, cause I always hot wire my car when I drive it.

Hard Core Running

You think you're a hard core runner? You run marathons? You push yourself to the limits of endurance? Well, think again. Try running with a rabid fox attached to your arm by its teeth. Yeah, how do you like them apples?

It's not quite as light as my ipod armband

Video games make me angry!

Another study is out about how violent video games make children angry. I'm not quite sure still why doing a lot of fantasy violence in a fantasy video game world is reason for people to not be able to distinguish between right and wrong. I played lots of duck hunt as a kid, and you don't see me out shooting at birds or the dog retrieving my kills. My skills at super mario brothers didn't leave me thinking I could grow from eating the right mushroom or hook up with a mushroom princess. If only video games were more like real life, but alas, they're not.

I swear my child was well mannered before those awful video games!