Never Too Early for Breast Feeding

File this one under W-T-F.

I just want my daughter to have the experience in feeding a baby many years before she even has sex.

Yes, that is what every young girl is thinking. puppies are cute. Glitter is Sparkly. Boys have cooties, and oh yeah, I wonder what it's like to breast feed a baby.

Slimy Babies

I was watching a movie last night, and there was one of those scenes where someone has a baby, and it's all touching and nice. However, looking at that slimy baby got me thinking. How do they cast for these parts? Do people willingly toss their newborns into Hollywood productions? Here, take my baby and slime it up good. I suppose money helps, but still, it seems odd to me. I mean, here's this baby, new and impressionable, and probably pretty happy to be free from the womb. Naturally, he/she would probably not be that pumped to simulate the miracle of life all over again. Sure, the baby's job is pretty easy. Lie around and let them cover them with goo like they've been slimed by a ghostbusters' ghost, but i wonder how confusing that must be. Their tiny little minds thinking, "didn't I just d0 this? Come on!" I suppose it's better than one of those rebirthing exercises. At least, the slimy baby movie role will pay for college.

Best Ways to Defend Yourself

There are plenty of effective ways to defend yourself. I think these two people are shining examples for what to do when your back is up against a wall.

Unarmed and Dangerous

In a battle over a woman, a man killed his nemesis only using his head! His head? An armless man bested a generic 2 armed man in mortal combat. Now, I don't care what you say, that guy is pretty hard core. Interestingly enough, he's a famous no armed man that use to do art with his feet. Also, he's the one the woman chose. I'm sure he must be about the most talented fully foot functioning person that anyone will ever meet.

This next woman was also fairly resourceful.

The subject is armed and dangerous. She's got a baby, and she knows how to use it.

Police entered this woman's home on suspicion of pot, and she threw the closest object she could at them. Her baby.
WEEEEEEEE! I'M FLYING!!!






Clearly, this was not the most formidable weapon at her disposal. Her brilliant defense to not get busted by the cops for being high and prove to them her sobriety was this. Nothing says, "I'm not wasted," like throwing a baby at someone. Lucky for her, she's bound to get a taste of her own medicine soon enough in prison. Except, instead of a baby, it'll be a 300 pound cellmate named, Bertha.